The MII TED Talk Club 10th November – Hannah McKimm: Why Do Men Behave This Way?

The MII’s TED Talk Club is back at 1pm Irish time/GMT on Tuesday 10th November. We’ll be watching the above TEDx Talk live and will then use it to analyse the role of mediators in relation to complaints about violence (usually male violence) in relationships being raised or perceived in mediation.

It will be a very special panel next week – we’ll have two guests on the panel – Fiona McAuslan, Director of the Family Mediation Service at the Legal Aid Board in Ireland; and Hannah McKimm, presenter of the TEDx talk “Why Do Men Behave This Way?”

Fiona. A. McAuslan is the Director of the Family Mediation Service at the Legal Aid Board, a role she has held for the last 9 years. Fiona has over 20 years experience as a mediator, including separation and divorce, child care, international child
abduction, bully and harassment workplace cases, church and inter-congregational disputes, multiparty workplace disputes in small and large organisations and mediation in schools. She served as the Ethics and Standards Chair of the Mediators
Institute of Ireland (Mii), where she oversaw a review  and update of the Mii Code of Ethics and Practice, under the Mediation Act 2017.

As part of her work in the field of mediation, Her Masters Thesis on Conflict Resolution Education was published as a national education programme called The S.A.L.T. Programme: Creative Solutions to Conflict for Primary Schools, by Learning Horizons in Dublin 2005. The Resolving Book Series, published by Veritas, followed in 2010, Living with Separation and Divorce. With Blackhall Publications in 2011 and Divorce Book America. Published 2016. She has been a frequent guest on radio and television. Fiona came to Ireland in 1990 to work as a symphonic violinist in the National Symphony Orchestra of Ireland, where she served on the union committee and as shop steward for 14 years. She sat on the RTE steering committee for Partnership and subsequently helped develop the local partnership group. This was where she became interested in exploring other ways to resolve disputes that ultimately took her into the world of mediation.

Hannah McKimm is a Trauma Coach and HCPC Registered Art Psychotherapist. She works with individuals through 1:1 trauma work and with the creative industries and organisations in various sectors through trauma-informed training, workshops and consultancy, helping people make sense of their experiences and reclaim autonomy, while equipping organisations to take action and transform the conditions that allow harm to continue.

In this TEDxBlackMountain talk, Hannah McKimm explores how silence can contribute to the escalation of violence against women and girls. Speaking particularly to the men who don’t see themselves as part of the problem, she challenges them to consider why simply being a “good guy” isn’t enough and what role we each play when harmful attitudes and behaviours happen around us. Through her lived experience and her Ladder of Permission, Hannah explores the comfort and fear that can keep us silent, how what goes unchallenged can become normalised, and how small acts of intervention can make a difference.

She offers a thoughtful and compassionate exploration of the patterns that can allow harm to continue, inviting us to reflect on our own responses and what might help us move from silence towards meaningful action.

Join our panel of mediators – (Michael Lang in Florida, Ilona Kupp-Lieck in Bordeaux, Ewout Goudsmedt in Amsterdam, Avril Sheridan and MII President Andrea O’Neill in Dublin), alongside chair Scott Alexander, and our two guests, as they discuss the following questions and more:

• What should happen if the bystander is a mediator and bound by confidentiality?
• Where is the line between necessary privacy and our duty to report?
• How can we maintain impartiality when allegations of violence or abuse arise in mediation discussions?

And, outside of mediation – how can all of us be better bystanders when it comes to violence, particularly against women and girls in society? 

Watch the video in advance and register for the webinar on the MII website under news and events – look for the TED Talk Club Calendar. It’s free CPD and anyone can join us live online: Register Here

Trigger Warning: This discussion includes references to domestic abuse, violence against women and girls, coercive control, trauma, and the impact of violence within intimate relationships. Some participants may find these topics distressing. Please consider your own wellbeing and engage with the discussion in a way that feels appropriate for you. Support is available through relevant professional and support services if needed.